“Because with my mum, I understood that there came a point when I had to let her go,” he said … “Because it was the natural order of things. It made me understand that there are limits to what science can and should be doing. That it shouldn’t interfere with that natural order.”

Overall: What did I think of One Yellow Eye by Leigh Radford?

Rating: 4.75/5

Genre: Zombie Horror

What a book. One Yellow Eye is what made me realise I like post apocalyptic books and this one talks about grief, what it means to lose your loved one and has scientific additions to it. If you have been here for a while, you’ll know that I lost my grandmother in September 2023 and she was one of my best friends, a part of my soul. Losing my grandmother felt like losing myself and I dont think I will ever find that part of me again. This is very similar to what Kesta goes through and because of that, One Yellow Eye will always have a special place in my heart as I saw too much of the old me in Kesta and related to the story a lot. Grief is hard and heavy, yet Radford deliveries it in an eerie and beautiful way.

What is One Yellow Eye about?

One Yellow Eye discusses how far and to what extent would you let the horrors consume you and try to save your loved ones?

I think once upon a time, maybe I would have done what Kesta did but now, I could never. The reason behind this is, while we want our loved ones to stick around forever, you want to encourage them to fight through their disease, to stay and be the beam of sunlight that you know them to be; however, you realise that the disease tends to chip away at their bright sunlight and what is left of them is something you cant selfishly wish to keep them around for.

Death, Grief and all the things in between

Kesta goes through a journey here only a selected few in the book can understand as Tim was the last human bitten in the book out of 11 others. She is stuck playing a role as she nurses a secret of keeping Tim (un)alive.

“Thing is, Kesta” Jess sniffed, "he’d definitely want you to be happy”… Kesta just nodded and smiled. People didn’t have a clue what Tim had wanted, and yet these days, they seemed intent on telling her that he’d want her to move on.”

She is stuck listening to others in her life tell her what Tim would have wanted, that he would want to see her move on. She has a few people around her that do try to help her but this does nothing. It made me think of how when you lose a loved one, everyone starts to tell you what to do like: Its time to move on, its time to live life again… etc.

Everyone begins to tell you that they understand what you are going through, even if they have never lost someone they considered one of their soul mates (be it a friend, spouse or family member). Kesta is surrounded by advises and tips that they understand her pain but she needs to MOVE on. As a person who grieved very differently than others, I related ALOT to this.

“Jess, Grief isn’t something you can leave behind in the long stay car park at Gatwick Airport. It goes with you everywhere.”

Scientific Elements in One Yellow Eye

Kesta is a scientist and we see a lot of elements of pathology and biomedical science in here!

”The microscope always held the answers. It foretold the future. It sealed your fate. It bore hope and death together, clutching them in the same impartial hand. The microscope never lied at 350 times magnification.”

And there are a few comparisons of scientific knowledges with grief that just makes my STEM loving heart soar (this is how I found out I love books that tackle zombie apocalypse in a scientific way guys) as Kesta dives deep into Histology and histopathology.

“She was in the grip of mitosis, collapsing in on herself and splitting into two. A new version of Kesta had separated from the first, taking all the hallmarks of the original, but something other, something different. The two Kestas must exist as one: the grieving widow at work and the scientist nursing a zombie in her flat.”

Who are you doing it for?

Throughout the story, Kesta maintains that she is doing everything to keep Tim (un)alive so that he can survive, get the cure and make it through. However, throughout the story, we see character development that shows us Kesta realising who she is actually doing it for.

“… she realised she wasn’t doing all of this for Time. She was doing it for herself, perhaps more so. She didn’t want him to die because she didn’t want to lose him, didn’t want to accept that this irrevocable schism in her life was permanent.”

Kesta has an internal conflict throughout the book about whether it is Tim still in his own body or if the virus has replaced who he once was. This is something she struggles to accept and refuses to aknowledge for most of the book. It is what we all think when we start to see a loved one become sick and as they struggle with their treatment: Is it still them there? Are they different now?

“As she sat there in the afterglow, she knew she had been deluding herself. She’d thought they were in this together, she and him, as they had been since the night they met, when they gave up their own lives to share a single life between them. But Time was in this alone, wasn’t he? He was soldiering his way down to the abyss without her.”

Wrapping up the review:

I hope you choose to pick up One Yellow Eye, that you see what it is like to lose someone you loved so much, you couldnt see a life without them. I hope you understand Kesta’s point of view and that you see what she struggled with. This is a beautiful story that tells us about the pain of life, grief and love. Everyone deserves a chance to tell their story and this was Kesta’s story.

Thank you to Tor Books, Book Break and the author for letting me partake in this tour! I am so excited to be able to partake in a tour with my substack for the first time and all opinions in here are my honest one.